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RANT: CBS Represents All That Is Wrong With TV

So the networks have been announcing their new lineups this week.  Today was CBS’s turn.  Here’s what is returning:

Comedies:

TWO AND A HALF MEN (womanizing is hilarious! Going into its 7th season with the same plot)
THE BIG BANG THEORY (nerds are hilarious! Actually a really good show)
GARY UNMARRIED (divorce is hilarious!)
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (dysfunctional friends are hilarious!)
THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE (single mothers are hilarious!)
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT (different levels of relationships are hilarious!)

Dramas:

CSI (solving crimes in Las Vegas!)
CSI: MIAMI (solving crimes in Miami!)
CSI: NY (solving crimes in New York City!)
THE MENTALIST (solving crimes using a fake psychic!)
NCIS (solving crimes in the Navy!)
CRIMINAL MINDS (solving crimes by profiling the criminals!)
NUMB3RS (solving crimes using math!)
COLD CASE (solving old crimes!)
GHOST WHISPERER (she can talk to dead people!)

Reality Gameshows:

SURVIVOR (contestants compete in a remote location! Going on 10 years and 20 seasons)
THE AMAZING RACE (contestants compete in a race!)

So what have they added to this lineup of sameness?

NCIS: LOS ANGELES (solving crimes in the Navy in LA, starring Chris O’Donnell and LL Cool J!)
MEDIUM (solving crimes by talking to dead people! A transfer from NBC)
THE GOOD WIFE (a lawyer who’s a single mother!)
THREE RIVERS (a medical drama, yay!)
ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE (unplanned pregnancies are hilarious!)
MIAMI TRAUMA (a medical drama, yay!)
THE BRIDGE (solving crimes while leading the police union!)
ARRANGED MARRIAGE (reality show where 3 couples have volunteered to have arranged marriages!)
UNDERCOVER BOSS (“The Prince and the Pauper”, but with CEOs!)

So, more sameness (even taking another network’s sameness!), plus the same things that are on the other networks (who doesn’t have at least 2 medical dramas nowadays?), plus some weird FOX-like reality shows/experiments.  Hooray for CBS!  Looks like I will still only watch 30 minutes of your network a week!

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  1. Cassandra
    May 20, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Boo for taking Medium. I know its a solving crime show, but with a different twist that she has dreams from the deceased to help her. And I really like the family. The girls are too cute! As for my opinion on CBS. I gave up on them awhile ago when I discovered they didn’t want to be very veiwer friendly and stream the shows via internet. If you miss a show and don’t have TiVo, basically your screwed. Since we don’t have tivo, or plan on getting it because we only watch the basic chanels, than we’re screwed. They also don’t come on my analog yet, so I gave up trying to get that chanel to come in. CBS also canceled 2 shows that we different and I liked them. Threshold, about aliens come to “infect” humans with their DNA, it was interesting and funny. They didn’t give it a whole season and ended it by trying to explain that the humans finally got rid of the aliens in a dream the main char has. The other show, Moonlight, yes a crime solver, but it was with a freakin hot vampire! Come on, any vampire type show is better than a puny human crime solving show! And did I mention he was hot? Its the same guy thats doing the new medical show, bit disappointed that he signed on for that. Well thats my opinon on CBS. Basically it sucks, need newer different shows, and more viewer friendly. Thanks for informing me of Medium. Guess my Medium days are over.

    • doubleofive
      May 20, 2009 at 1:18 pm

      The only show I watch on CBS is Big Bang Theory (which I cannot recommend enough). However, we missed an episode once because Jessica wanted to watch the end of The Bachelorette instead, figuring we could watch it online. WRONG. I was really disappointed and angry. So stupid! I don’t want to watch CSI online! (Well, maybe the sci-fi episode they had a few weeks ago).

  2. Jimmy
    May 20, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    I am with you on Big Bang Theory. And Although I don’t watch it all the time How I Met Your Mother has proven to make me laugh occasionally.
    As for Medium? I tried to watch, Patricia A is awful!

  3. Mac Fife
    June 15, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    Due to the digital switch, we no longer receive CBS in our location. Before at least we could watch if we wanted to bear through some fuzziness, but with digital, it’s all or nothing. And as you mentioned, no Big Bang Theory online. CBS you lose.

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