I had fun last year pointing out how CBS Represents All That Is Wrong With TV, so after reading all of the junk that all of the networks are trying to pass off as “entertainment” this coming season, I figured I’d break them down to their basic elements and what current/past show it sounds just like. By the way, “Alternative Series” is what they call reality shows now, and there doesn’t seem to be that many. Has the reality show finally died?
Keep in mind I’ve not seen these shows or know anything about them, I’m only judging them by how the networks are trying to sell them. For example, FOX gives out very little information, so I have nothing really to go on. You can read the actual descriptions on the links for each network.
“BODY OF PROOF”
The crazy lady (the one that actually got committed, then became a lesbian) from “Desperate Housewives” plays a neurosurgeon who is in an accident and can’t practice anymore, but her new job as a medical examiner finds her “graying the lines of where her job ends and where the police department’s begins”. Also stars 7 of 9 from “Star Trek:Voyager”.
Sounds like: A mixture of “House” and “Bones”.
A fake documentary/drama following Detroit cops, starring one of the guys from “The Sopranos”.
Sounds like: A cross between “NYPD Blue” and a serious “The Office”.
A fake documentary/drama following high school students, with interviews from them “ten years later.”
Sounds like: A cross between any number of high school dramas and a serious “The Office”.
“NO ORDINARY FAMILY”
A family crashes in a plane in the Amazon River, then find out they now have superpowers. Starring Michael Chiklis (“The Shield”, Thing from the “Fantastic Four” movies).
Sounds like: A mixture of “Lost” and “Heroes”.
“OFF THE MAP”
A group of doctors with problems run a medical clinic in South America.
Sounds like: A mixture of “Grey’s Anatomy” (from the same producers even) and maybe the serious parts of “MASH”.
“THE WHOLE TRUTH”
A courtroom drama that tells both sides of the story, prosecutor and defense.
Sounds like: Every courtroom drama, but you don’t root for the same team every week.
Middle-aged couple who refuses to get married, young couple that are getting married quickly, and the parents of the women who don’t really care. “With three very different relationships tightly intertwined in one family, will it be free thinkers vs. over-thinkers, or will each couple begin to see things a little bit differently?”
Sounds like: Most comedies, maybe a bit more of “Modern Family”.
A couple gets divorced and their circle of friends falls apart without them together. Whose side will their friends choose?
Sounds like: Most comedies, maybe a bit more like “Friends” if Monica and Chandler got divorced.
Matthew Perry from “Friends” is a manager of a sports arena and has workplace hijinks.
Sounds like: “Becker” with some “Newsradio” (hopefully).
“Alternative Series” about millionaires helping out at orphanages undercover.
Sounds like: “Undercover Boss”, but more philanthropic.
“$#*! MY DAD SAYS”
Based on a Twitter feed, a man lives with his aging father who says whatever is on his mind and comedy ensues. The father will be played by William Shatner, and it will air after “Big Bang Theory”. There is no reason to not watch it.
Sounds like: Awesome.
“MIKE & MOLLY”
A couple meets at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and fall in love. From the guy that made “Big Bang Theory” (yay!) and “Two and a Half Men” (boo!).
Sounds like: Any number of comedies, but at least its not the “fat man/hot wife” concept we’ve seen a dozen times.
A gritty reboot of the 1970’s series. About an “elite federalized task force” who fight crime in Hawaii.
Sounds like: “Hawaii Five-0”.
Two Las Vegas defense attorneys share life and comedy in Las Veags. Starring Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell.
Sounds like: Something that won’t last very long.
Drama about a family of cops led by Tom Selleck.
Sounds like: Any cop drama with a twist of family drama.
“CRIMINAL MINDS SPINOFF”
Forest Whitaker leads a team of investigators who get inside criminals’ heads.
Sounds like: “Criminal Minds”.
A man investigating the disappearance of his fiancee finds out its part of a more vast conspiracy that goes all the way to the top.
Sounds like: Maybe some “24” or “Prison Break”.
JJ Abrams brings us a show about a married couple who used to be super-spies that are drawn back into action to save a friend. (I might give this one a chance)
Sounds like: The movie “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”.
A cop is framed for crimes he didn’t commit, so he becomes a masked vigilante with the help of circus folk.
Sounds like: Batman.
A Texan US Marshall chases down criminals.
Sounds like: “Walker: Texas Ranger”, but actually serious. Or “The Fugitive”.
Jimmy Smits (Bail Organa from the Star Wars Prequels, and other stuff) plays a US Supreme Court Justice who quits and starts a private practice to help the little guy.
Sounds like: “Shark”, but without James Woods.
Kathy Bates is a former patent lawyer who teams up with a high school teacher and one of his former students to start their own law office in an old shoe store. (I might give this one a chance)
Sounds like: “Three’s Company.” Actually, it doesn’t at all, I just wanted to say that.
“LAW & ORDER: LOS ANGELES”
THERE’S BEEN A CRIME!
Sounds like: The show they just canceled, also called “Law & Order”.
Three couples are trying to figure out what makes the ideal relationship. It’s a “heroic journey” according to the network.
Sounds like: “Friends” had they all paired off.
A joke company’s sales department is outsourced to India, along with the manager. Now has to explain all of the practical jokes to the Indians trying to sell it.
Sounds like: “The Office” with more stereotypes.
“THE PAUL REISER SHOW”
Paul Reiser cast Paul Reiser as Paul Reiser in “The Paul Reiser Show”. Seriously. He plays fake-him years after his last successful fake-show and it follows fake-him and his fake-family and fake-friends.
Sounds like: Paul Reiser.
“FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS”
Follows a group of friends “as they navigate the difficult, and often confusing, world of dating.”
Sounds like: “How I Met Your Mother.”
Romantic comedy anthology series following different women as they learn about “love, sex, marriage and dating.”
Sounds like: “Sex and the City” (same writer/producer), but they’re not best friends.
“Alternative series” about communities coming together to rebuild their local public schools.
Sounds like: “Extreme Makeover”: School Edition. Same producer (no surprise).
A single father tries to raise his infant daughter with his dysfunctional family’s help.
Sounds like: Mostly “Modern Family”
A billionaire playboy played by GOB Bluth tries to win the heart of his childhood sweetheart played by Felicity who is a tree-hugging liberal.
Sounds like: A cringe-worthy comedy.
A Texas guy is “caught between two very different lives and two very different women.” And something about oil.
Sounds like: Vagueness, maybe some “There Will Be Blood”.
A family is sent back to prehistoric times to try to save the human race. Spielberg and the producers of “24” are making it. I’m going to give it a shot because its freaking Spielberg.
Sounds like: “Land of the Lost”.
Animated series about a family trying to run a burger joint.
Sounds like: Boredom.
Follows cops around Chicago.
Sounds like: “NYPD Blue” or “Detroit 1-8-7” on ABC.
A comedy about guys who are trying to balance out “their committed relationships with their desire for freedom”.
Sounds like: A show with strong moral fiber.